6.23.2013

Continue What You Began in Me, Lord

That is my prayer for this week.

Just under a year ago, my prayer was this: Break My Heart Lord, Allow Me to Feel.

In so many ways that prayer was answered. Some I've blogged about, some I haven't because it still feels so raw.

As I head back to Black Rock for another week long course on Theology of the Body with Christopher West, I am asking the Lord to please continue what He began in me last August. I am so excited to go, I am actually ready over an hour early (which never happens, at least not in the morning) and find myself with time to write this. (I figured I'd be writing from the retreat center this afternoon.)

But, along with my excitement is a little fear. Because of the raw feeling that is still left. There is a piece of me that wonders if I'm ready for this. But, I'm trusting that I am. This course sold out in less than an hour, and I was one of the ones who got registered in time. While it could be my obsessive nature of things, I also feel like it was God calling me back.

As with August, there are no big physical fertility-related events happening this week, so it is left to my heart and soul to grow, stretch, be healed. The fruits of last August's retreat have been many, the most tangible of which is the retreat I planned and held just a few weeks ago. Without receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation from Fr. D's best friend (had no idea!), and a WV logo on my shirt that started a conversation that led to Fr. Jon asking if I knew Fr. D, which led me to ask Fr. D about spiritual direction, which led to my surrender, and so much more, well, I'm not sure just what the past year would've looked like. (Have I mentioned how awesome the Holy Spirit is?!?!)

Also, as with last August, my anxiety seems to be returning. It started just before Mother's Day and has continued. I don't see this as a coincidence either.

So, it is with hope, faith, and trust that I pray continue what You began in me, Lord.

11 comments:

  1. Praying for you while you are on this retreat!

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  2. Praying for you--hope it is a great week!

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  3. I've been working with anxiety issues as well...it's gotten better since I've been on thyroid meds (so much better) but sometimes it gets the better of me and I get all nervous and sweaty.

    Sounds like you are really surrendering...which is a blessing for it is so hard to do. God bless you as you continue on with your own journey.

    It's also very interesting to reflect on how God has worked in our lives over a period of time. I've been doing that lately...and I can not say God hasn't answered any of my prayers..oh He has..many.

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  4. I'm just waiting for school to end so I can increase my T3. Apparently you're not supposed to do a med change under high stress. It seems like June is my yearly time to get anxious.

    Praying for a fruitful retreat!

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  5. I will be praying for your week! It is amazing to see the God at work...I hope this week finds that God has handled your still-raw feelings as only He can, with Love and Grace, and that you will have even more accounts of how awesome the Holy Spirit is! :)

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  6. How awesome how the Holy Spirit works! Many many prayers for you this week to listen to Him and His direction for your life!

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  7. Praying for a blessed retreat for you, Rebecca.

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  8. Praying for your have a wonderful retreat!

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  9. Praying for you to have a wonderful week!!

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  10. Hoping you have a great week! I took TOB in college and loved it even though so much of it (the original texts) went over my head at first. :)

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