I am humbled that Amy has picked me for the adopted blogger for May, especially since she is facing her own struggles. Amy, since I can't offer my own sufferings up for myself, I will be offering them for you this month!

If this is your first visit here, welcome and thank-you for any and all prayers you may say for us this month. Also, if you are new to our story and want the long version, click on "Me, The Man, and Infertility" under my header for a timeline, links to a few key posts, and a link to all posts with the label "infertility."

The short version:

The Technical Stuff:
The Man and I got married in 2004.
We have been TTC since September 2010.
I have been diagnosed with:

  • PCOS with insulin resistance (treated with metformin and letrozole)
  • Endometreosis (stage 2, removed January 2012)
  • Blocked tubes (opened January 2012)
  • Low progesterone (treated with post-peak HCG)
  • Infections (treated with antibiotics Fall 2012)
The Man is good.
As we near the end of our 18-month surgery window we face the question of what comes next. If we do not conceive in the next 2 cycles, we must answer this question.
Currently we are at the start of our 2WW.

The Emotional Stuff:
Where do I even start? In keeping it short, I will say this:
Infertility has taught me that I am capable of more pain than I thought possible, it has brought me to my knees. It has also taught me I am capable of giving more love than I thought possible. It has brought more sorrow into my life than any other one event, but it has also brought joy in the form of friendships and deep faith. It is a balance unlike any other. A road I would never have chosen, but that I am grateful for in that complex way that anyone is grateful for pain or struggle. I have learned to choose hope, even when it leads to pain.

Finally, if I could humbly ask, whether this is your first visit here or you are a regular, would you please leave a comment with a prayer intention of yours? I would be honored to return the favor of prayer to you. Also, if you are usually a lurker, I would love it if you would introduce yourself - in the internet-sense of doing so - an anonymous comment with a pseudonym is fine.


  1. I love you and can't wait to pray for you this month :)

  2. I have to admit that I've not been doing a great job in my prayer life recently, but if the task is praying for you, Rebecca, I am going to be ALL OVER IT! Sending you so much love.

  3. Hooray!!! I was wondering when it was going to be your turn =) I will keep you very intentionally in prayer during Mary's month!

    My prayer intention is for YOU to be filled to the brim with God's peace, joy, and hope this month - that you and the Man are blessed with the gift of a child - and that you know deep, deep down what a blessing you are to so many people! (including me)

  4. I'm a lurker (Meg) who has learned so much from reading your blog. I prayer that God will make you and your husband parents. I am currently experiencing secondary infertility after struggling to conceive our first. I'm getting early indications this cycle was a bust for me, and I offer my suffering for you.

  5. Happy Happy to be praying for you this month.

  6. My prayer is that God's plan will become crystal clear and you and The Man will be overjoyed by His plan :)

  7. I'm a lurker. My name is Molly. I'll be happy to pray for you this month and offer my suffering to you.

    My prayer is not for me. It's for my dad. Dad just had surgery to see if his cancer returned. They are waiting on one more scan, but they are 90% certain that it is merely fibrosis of the leg. It is very slow to heal as the bone and tissue is weak. I ask for prayers that he be healed and that he is in no more pain. It's hard to see him not be able to do a lot of what he loves due to the weakness of the leg because of the radiation therapy he received. Thank you for your prayers for him.

  8. So excited to pray for you this month Rebecca! If you could pray for my Creighton final that is scheduled for May 18th I would really appreciate it!

  9. I'm very happy to pray for you and offer up my suffering for you this month. :) Would you pray for my husband to find a good job? I'm trying not to worry too much, but he hasn't heard a peep from anywhere he applied.

  10. I will be happy to pray for you this month! My prayer intention is for a priest I know who is struggling in his vocation... not leaving it, but definitely in a rough patch. Thank you!

  11. I've posted here and there but I mostly lurk (I say a prayer each time I lurk!). Would you please pray for my brother and his fiance? She has endometreosis so they're already concerned that after they get married they may have difficulty conceiving. Thank you for your prayers!

  12. I am s excited to pray for you (although you're already part of my daily prayers)! And I think you may already know what my prayer intentions are ;)

  13. Happy to pray for you this month! Will you please pray that I learn to trust God with our finances?

  14. I am so excited to see that we are praying for you this month!

    If you could keep Himself's aunt in your prayers that would be great. She is currently in the hospital undergoing a bone marrow transplant to treat an aggressive reoccurance of lymphoma.

  15. Praying for you this month, and always, Rebecca.

    If you could pray as we start the adoption process. I'm terrified in a thousand different ways!

  16. Hi, Rebecca, I will also be praying for you this month :) I have some intentions, please pray for my friend´s son´s classmate who has leukemia, she´s a little girl about six years old. Also for the same friend because she suffered infertility, and now secondary infertility, she wants so much a sibling for her Little boy. Thank you.

  17. I am regular here, and thankful to have found Rebecca - whom honestly I think actually found me. You have been amazing and eye opening, Rebecca, and such a blessing to my heart and soul, a lifting of my faith.

    I do ask for a prayer... one I've not figured out exactly how to word... but my father and I are struggling with our own relationship. He is so neglectful - of his health and of any REAL vulnerability and connection in his life, including with his daughters. His life is a mess - he has a servant's heart, but focus in all the wrong places, and he doesn't take care of his life, his business, or his relationships - and it hurts everyone around him.

    I am learning how much like him I can be... and I don't want to be. I want to succeed in my marriage, and to be "there" for people in my life who try to get close. It's hard, but I choose to fight the tendency to be like this... meanwhile, I have to try to go take care of him and MAKE him fix the things in his life that I can do with him - even though he really should be doing these things himself. It's like, suddenly, I have to be the parent and he's the child and I have to make sure he's doing his homework.

    I suddenly feel that this HAS to be a part of my fertility struggles - more lessons about God, myself, parenting, my family, my inner struggle, marriage... and I am a little (lot) nervous as I walk this new road with my Daddy and try to make him "straighten up" - all while having to let go of what I canNOT make him do (despite how much I know he'd be better from doing)... I'm just overwhelmed in family dynamics, control issues, vulnerability, and how all of this comes together - because I KNOW they are related.

    I am so so sorry to put all of that on you. I didn't intend to as I started writing. I guess I don't know where else to pour this request... I can't even write this on my own blog because I do have family that read it, and I've been sworn to secrecy in helping Daddy get his affairs in order. :/

    Hugs, and love, and I am so praying for you, and so SO badly hope to meet you one day soon. <3

  18. By the way, so many things you said in this post are so, so poignant, all coming to the perfect culmination of spirit with, "I have learned to choose hope, even when it leads to pain."


  19. You are always in my Prayers! You have inspired me so much in your journey. Please know I am here if you want to Talk! God Bless!

  20. I'm so glad you are the Blogger of the Month! Many prayers & struggles offered up & coming your way.
    Prayer Intention: For mothers who carry some (if not all) of their children in their hearts ... For the ones who yearn to conceive a child ... For those who will suffer this Mothers Day as this holiday is celebrated

  21. I'm looking forward to praying for you this month! My prayer intentions are for patience over the next few days (if CD1 doesn't show up by Wednesday, I have to go in for a blood draw/quantitative HCG test), for good weather for the Mother's Day brunch we are hosting, and for all women who struggle with Mother's Day, whether due to IF, miscarriage, abortion, or any other reason.

  22. Hi Rebecca! I will definitely be praying and offering up my sufferings for you this month! May God bring you and your husband healing and may you be blessed with little ones real soon!!! We also got married in 2004 and we've been TTC for 8 years now. It definitely has been a struggle! We've seen Dr Hilgers and are now patients of De Beiter at the St Gianna Center. Please keep me and my husband in your prayers, that we will be blessed with children! Thank you so much!! And may you be blessed in this month of our Blessed Mother, with all of us praying for you! God Bless!!