6.07.2012

Increase my Desire.

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

Back in October I attended my first Course/Retreat at the Theology of the Body Institute with Christopher West as the instructor for the week. At some point during the week, Christopher suggested a simple, yet dangerous prayer (it may have been a prayer of St. Teresa of Avila, I can't remember):

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

October was a big month on our IF road. It marked one year TTC, was my first NaPro appointment, and my first Creighton chart. And in October, I started praying that prayer.

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

If nothing else has happened since October, I can say without a doubt my desire for Jesus has increased and I now understand what Christopher meant when he said it was a "dangerous prayer." Desire for Jesus doesn't just mean desire for Easter and the Resurrection. It means desire for death to self, for ridicule, for pain, for suffering all with the hope of the Resurrection to get you through.

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

In addition to our IF, I have spent many of these past months (more recently especially) explaining why the HHS mandate is such a bad thing, and in extension what and why the Church teaches what she does about contraception. My brother even texted me "why are 43 diocese suing the federal government?" Needless to say I replied that 160 characters wasn't enough space and to expect an email. It was a 5 page, 13 bullet-point email that started with "First of all, 43 diocese aren't suing the federal government, 43 Catholic Institutions are..." and went from there.

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.
Then, one day I'm reading an online article from CBS News (I know, I know) that states "The Catholic Church only approves of the rhythm method to prevent pregnancy." Seriously. Right there on the screen in black and white. It's 2012 and MSM can't even get that correct? Ugh! I was seriously tempted to just jump out my office window...til I remembered suicide is immoral. If Jesus had come back right that moment, I'd have been exstatic. I mean really, is there no sense of decency or honesty left? Nevermind.

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

Yes, this is a very dangerous prayer. And it is clear to me that God has answered this prayer. By not answering my prayer for children and instead answering my prayer for grace, God has also increased my desire for heaven. In ways I never "got" before, I "get" that we are not created for this world and my very being desires that for which it was created.

Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

8 comments:

  1. Wonderful post and wonderful prayer! I'm inspired to pray that prayer as well. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. Beautiful, Rebecca. I like that prayer...short, sweet, to the point and gets exactly to what we need.

    I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall most of the time. it's so frustrating to read the news with regards to what the Church teaches because no one in the media will actually go find out what the Church teaches...they like to perpetuate the rumors and lies.

    Jesus, I desire You. Increase my desire.

    Goes well with what I've been saying a lot lately, too...my heart is restless until it rests in You, oh Lord.

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  3. Amazing post! This gave me chills! What a beautiful prayer.

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  4. Thank you, just what my heart and soul needed. You are so right, one of the great blessings of this online community is the great likelyhood that someone has posted just what you needed to read today.

    Hugs!

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  5. Ugh I get so frustrated with media stupidity and just stupidity in general!! Beautiful prayer, I love it!

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  6. I agree with Michelle! Totally want to bang my head against a wall sometimes! From the HHS mandate to gender-selective abortions (how could ANYONE think aborting just bc it's a baby girl is ok? Or abortion at all is ok?) ..Oooh I just want to smack somebody and say..."are you kidding me??!" Ok, I'm done.
    But yes, that is such a beautiful prayer! Thank you for sharing it :)

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  7. I think I may have to borrow your prayer!

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  8. "It means desire for death to self, for ridicule, for pain, for suffering all with the hope of the Resurrection to get you through." ... what a beautiful reflection on this prayer.

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