11.30.2011

I Don't Know What I Expected

I mean who really gets pregnant on their first month of prometrium?

Apparently I thought I would. (Even knowing I was out of town for about half of my fertile days).

Yep. Stupid. I know.

I think the worst part is this BB that I get every. single. month. for about 5 days before CD1 finally gets around to showing up.

So for the next 5 days I get to be reminded that CD1 is coming. No chance to even get my hopes up.

Except that I did get my hopes up.

Yep. Stupid. I know.

19 comments:

  1. I am sorry, Rebecca. I get my hopes up every single month as well. Absolutely heartbreaking. Stay hopeful. You are in my prayers.

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  2. No love, not stupid at all...sometimes I feel like we're twins separated at birth, LoL. Even though I didn't say it out loud, I secretly hoped for the same thing when I started my prometrium too. We tell ourselves not to get our hopes up, but we always secretly do. Hoping your wait isn't too much longer.

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  3. Hope always seems to creep in more when starting a new treatment. At least it does for me. The disappointment is really hard, but try not to beat yourself up about it. Praying for you.

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  4. Oh honey. I'm sorry. It's okay to hope. I know it's hard when those hopes aren't fulfilled, but we must never stop hoping. Praying for you.

    Forgive me, but I'm not clear what a "bb" is that you mention?

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  5. I'm sorry! I know how it is, every time something new is added, I think, maybe this is it. Dear Jesus, please just heal us all and give us all pregnancies for Christmas!

    I used to have the week of bb before AF and somehow, knock on wood, Dr. H has eradicated it. I don't know if it's the antibiotics on cd 1-10, the hcg, the vitamins, or what, but it's working so far.

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  6. Oh yuck. I'm sorry. I agree that your BB could be eliminated with antibiotics. It's usually a sign of infection I think. Either way, I'm sorry this cycle was a bust. I remember my first cycle after surgery with Dr. H. being SO hopeful and then being majorly disappointed. It was the hardest one. But hang on to hope. You're just getting started in a sense!

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  7. Hugs! Not wrong to hope, it is what keeps us moving forward. Better things coming!

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  8. Is it any consolation that I have gotten my hopes up pretty much every month for six years? You're not alone. I remember the first time I was on Clomid and our stupid ob/gyn warned us of the increased chance of twins. We were so excited! That was in 2006.

    I've learned, particularly recently, that this IF business is a process, sometimes a long one. Just remember that you're not alone.

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  9. You are not alone. I'm praying for you.

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  10. I know exactly how you feel! Right now, I'm *thinking* I ovulated on CD13 or 14 based on my OPKs, but with my normal 40+ day cycle, I should be ovulating now.... and I'm not. No sign of ovulation what so ever! But, I'm getting all those random "in my head" symptoms. I broke down and tested yesterday (because if I did ovulate on CD13, I should've gotten a BFP). I was SO excited. I just knew this had to be it.

    Nope. BFN.

    Praying for you! There's always next month...

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  11. :( I'm sorry. It's so hard not to get your hopes up. I would always be thinking, "It could be me, I could be the miracle!!" But the other commenters are right--it's not wrong at all to hope!! Hope as much as you, as long as you can. Revel in that hope. As painful as it can be to get your hopes up, if we give up hope, we have nothing. Remember, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." :)

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  12. I am the same way...whether I'm taking meds for the first time, taking a month or so to "relax" or simply trying anything different...my hopes are so high...only to be let down. But for me, I'd rather cling to my hope because it's that hope that gets me through some dark times.

    I truly feel that hope is from HIM and for that, I'll always be grateful and cling on for dear life! ;)

    Still though, the being let down is extremely painful...I'll be praying for you extra!!

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  13. I'm so sorry it wasn't your month. I'll keep praying that it happens. . . SOON. . .for you.

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  14. I would say that it would be hard NOT to get your hopes up. Hang in there!

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  15. Not stupid at all. I get my hopes up even when I haven't tried something new or different, so I can't imagine what I'll be like when I do start meds. Praying for you today.

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  16. It's not stupid, it's just really hard. Thus my love/hate relationship with hope. I think hope is a good thing, but sometimes I wish it didn't spring quite so eternally, because it's so hard when it gets dashed. Praying for you!

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  17. Like everyone else has said, hoping is ok, natural, normal. I'm sorry this time is disappointing. I have been there and the meds don't help. (((Hugs, sweetie)))

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  19. I'm so sorry. I get my hopes up too each month, especially when taking a new drug for the first time ... I think "this could be it" and its not. I'll be praying for you.

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