I saw this question posed on twitter the other night. My initial reaction was 'yep, I live it and I should blog about it.' But then, I thought, oh that would 'jinx' us wouldn't it? And that would come across as bragging wouldn't it? And, even worse, that might come across like we don't have any problems (or that I am in denial of those that exist).
And then I thought this:
Does the fairy tale exist? Yes.
My fairy tale includes a time when I almost threw it away before we were engaged. It includes spending 2 and 1/2 years of almost 14 living in separate towns - all of which after we were engaged, 6 months of which were after we were married. It includes a trial that had my mom wanting me to consider postponing our wedding and my dad saying 'this can't happen again.' It includes 2 surgeries in 2 years to fix the wrists that are so important to The Man's work. It includes filing for bankruptcy. And it includes infertility. And it includes other things.
Wait! You mean this 'stuff' wasn't in the fairy tales you watched or read as a child? It wasn't in the ones I watched either. And it wasn't what I pictured when I stayed after work one day to have wings with the cute boy who took the trash out for me the night before almost 14 years ago.
But it's still my fairy tale.
It's my fairy tale because through it all, The Man has been by my side. Together, we've faced 'sickness and health,' 'richer and poorer', and 'good times and bad,' and the fact that when presented with the question of whether or not the fairy tale existed, my first instinct, deep in the core of my being was 'YES!'
My fairy tale may have all of those 'bad' things above, but those 'bad' things are real. And they are what makes up the story of the two people who still love and laugh every day. They are what make up the fairy tale of our life. It might not be cartoon-movie worthy, but it is our life. And for every sickness there is health; for every poorer there is a richer; and for every bad time there are a hundred good times.
So, as I consider the question 'does the fairy tale even exist?' I say 'YES!' with a confidence that only comes from living through the bads. I say 'YES!' knowing there will be more bad in our future. And I say 'YES!' with the anticipation of what lies ahead.
Our fairy tale exists because we choose for it to exist. We choose love and laughter. We choose 'happily ever after' in the face of adversity.
I needed this reminder. I needed to remember that The Man and I know how to get through tough times. That if our infertility is truly an inability to have children we will get through it. That, what we have said from the very beginning of 'us' is true - that as long as we have each other we have everything we truly need. And that is why I say the fairy tale does exist; that is why my answer is yes.