Don't you love it when the Holy Spirit works away at your life in the background when you are 'busy' living?
It's been one of those week's where I see the Holy Spirit at work in a very real way and I am ever grateful.
I am 2 1/2 days into the Theology of the Body Institute with Christopher West - YES! The IN REAL LIFE Christopher West. And the Holy Spirit has been ALL over this retreat and class, but I have yet to find the words to truly describe that, I'm not sure I ever will. But I do have some very real experiences related to our IF that have happened this week.
First, a couple of weeks ago, when I found out I was going to be 1) coming to a retreat center outside of Philadelphia/Harrisburg and 2) was going to be scheduling an appointment to see P, a NaPro nurse practitioner who works with Dr. S. I had this wonderful idea that it would be great to schedule the appointment WHILE I was at the retreat. How great would only having to make one 4 hour trip be instead of 2?!?
So, I called and scheduled my appointment for Thursday (you know, the appointment that I'm not supposed to be able to have until I've got at least 2 months of Creighton charts? Well, P agreed to see me with only about 2 weeks due to my 2 years of STM charts :)). Then, I started thinking I really don't want to miss any sessions, so I sent an email asking when would be a good time to leave the retreat center for a couple of hours. I found out Monday and Tuesday afternoons have large blocks of time that are 'free' time. I called the doctor's office back and asked if there was any way P. could see me on Monday or Tuesday afternoon. (In my head, I said a quick prayer for 1:00 on Tuesday.) The nurse came back on the phone and asked 'How does 1:00 Tuesday work?' Thank-you Holy Spirit.
Then, yesterday I went to confession. For the first time in a really long time. So long I was totally nervous and completely freaked when it was face to face. (Insert laugh from God right about here.) During my confession the Priest tells me about his daughter (he was widowed and then entered the seminary) who is a NaPro FCP and has an 18 month old after 7 years of IF. He asks about NFP, we talk about Creighton and he tells me (among other things) to offer up my suffering for babies who are aborted (HELLO TCIE!) and I leave confession feeling so much lighter and hopeful than I have in a long time. Again, thank-you Holy Spirit.
Today, I have my appointment. Armed with my charts and 'normal' results from blood work. P. takes one look and says, 'well, everything is not normal I see a concern here'. She proceeds to explain that my LH is 2x higher than my FSH and LH should never be higher than FSH (I might have those backwards and my notes are way far away at the moment - moral: something is higher than it should be :)). And that if it were 3x higher it would mean PCOS, and 2x higher could mean a mild case. AND she says that my STM charts were very helpful to her! Yep. Finally the beginnings of an answer - thank-you Holy Spirit!
It gets better though, as she starts to explain the hormone panel that I've read so much about from all of your blogs she says it has to start on CD3. Guess what today is? Yep! CD3. So instead of more waiting, I was able to get my first blood draw done right then and there! At this point, I got chills. I could actually feel the Holy Spirit telling me I was doing the right thing. I was in the right place at the right time. Thank-you Holy Spirit!
So today, on CD 3, there is hope. Yesterday, on CD 2 it was the 1 year anniversary of our first disappointment. Our first cycle TTC and our first 'no.' Today, there is renewed hope. There is the promise from the Holy Spirit that, regardless of what happens, His grace will continue to flow.
Will you please rejoice with me and give thanks for this hope? For the Holy Spirit hanging in with me even when I am doubting?