9.26.2010

A Definite Step Forward

...or at least across town.

We finally, finally, got the keys to our house this evening at 5 pm.

We have to be out of our apartment by Thursday night.

And we both work all week.

Fun times I tell ya, fun times.

But, just taking over the few boxes that we did have packed (we had to take them in and unpack them, so we could repack them because we ran out - I'm organized like that), and standing in our living room looking around put me at such ease.  When I wrote about feeling like we've taken 2 steps back at times, I think the biggest thing that has made me feel that way is living in a tiny apartment.

It was the right decision for us to make when we made it.  The rent is cheap, we can have Kali (it's h.a.r.d. hard to find a rental that is even decent in Morgantown that will allow you to have pets - a downside of living in a college town), and it's nice.  But moving from a 3 bedroom house with a fenced in back yard to a 1 bedroom apartment with no yard was quite an adjustment.  Most of our stuff has been in storage for 2 years and though we've had company a few times, it's not what I would call comfortable to have more than just the 2 of us in here.  While it's not been ideal, this tiny apartment has been home.  We've loved and cried and laughed here, and really that is what matters.  It's not the walls around us, but the life within them that make our home.

If leaving our first home was tough, this will somehow be a little bit tougher.  By the time our house in Martinsburg sold, The Man had already been living in Morgantown for 6 months and I was more than ready to join him.  But here, in this place, this tiny place, is where we've grown and changed.  Where we went from being married 4 years to being married 6 years.  Where I turned 30.  Where we lived without Pumpkin for the first time.  Where I rediscovered my Catholic Faith.  Where it felt like life stalled and then started again.

So, when the time comes to turn the key in the lock for the last time I will be ready to go.  I am ready to have a house to make a home again.  But, a part of me will miss this place.  The part of me that feels like this tiny apartment was more a home than our house ever was.

This is a definite step forward, I just didn't anticipate it feeling like such a big step.

6 comments:

  1. When David and I left our townhouse I felt just this way. It was where we first lived when we married, had the first two children, Coco, and where we grew. We started with nothing but four walls, a kitchen table (no chairs) and a bedroom suite. And while we couldn't wait for our "forever home," I hated leaving that little place, with all it's memories. So I completely understand what you are feeling.

    And you're right, it's what goes on within the four walls that is "home", not the four walls themselves.

    I hope you have a wonderful wonderful time in your new place. :)

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  2. I''m sitting here crying. Such perspective. That in the midst of hard things, home was made. And THAT is one of the reasons you endured the hard things! You are awesome.

    P.S. Yay for your Steelers. :)

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  3. When I sat on your porch this morning waiting for the gas company man to come, I felt like I was in a real neighborhood. I think you'll like it in Greenmont, And there is an awesome yard and I esprcially like the back deck, great place for a get-together.

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  4. Congratulations! So exciting! :)

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  5. Oh, I totally relate!! I am the same way when it comes to leaving a part of my past behind.... But your future is wide open and beautiful! Congratulations!

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  6. Places hold special meaning for us, and you'll always have that to re-energize whatever might lag in the future. Go back to that apartment, and remember. Things can be put into perspective by the memories you'll have of it.

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