6.13.2010

You claim I was the one you wanted, yet you forget.

And you, you always said it was him that is your favorite, yet it still hurts when you forget.

And you, you say I could be yours, yet you forget too.

A six-year-old promise, still not fulfilled.

A lifetime of reminders that I'll never measure up, just got longer.

"Things will never change."  Yet this won't ever happen to him, or even him for that matter.

How many times do I forgive?  How many times do I forgive, and truly think things will change, only to be disappointed?

I have no more cheeks to turn.

His heart breaks a little with mine every time.  It's not fair.  Every smile shouldn't be dampened with tears.

Am I selfish?  Too sensitive?  Just delusional?  Is it my expectations that get me into trouble?  Is this my fault?

How many times can a heart break?

4 comments:

  1. The larger a heart the more it can break.

    I am sorry.

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  2. Hey Rebecca, I commented yesterday...but it has disappeared! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. And Rae said it best. You have a very big, lovely heart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are sensitive and easily hurt, or have been hurting for a long time. I'm sorry for that, feel free to come over for hugs.

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  4. I'm slowly trying to teach my children that expectations should be for themselves, about themselves, and that thrusting an expectation on someone else is an action that leaves you at the mercy of others. I indulge in the joys that others bring me, when they bring it, but I rarely find myself disappointed when others fail to deliver, even when one should "expect" them to. I act and feel on what I can control, and try very hard to only delight in "unexpected" riches bestowed by others.

    Life gets a whole lot more simple if you can remove expectations from others. :)

    ReplyDelete

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