12.31.2009

2009

How to write this post?  How to sum up 2009?


These thoughts have been going around and around in my mind for weeks now (is that pathetic?).


I've started to write about how bad this year has been.  How hard.  How much I've struggled.  A kind of 'good riddance to 2009 post'.


And then I remember, that there is the other side.


And I start to write about all of the good things that have happened this year.  A kind of 'focus on the good of 2009 post'.


But I've realized that writing about one side without the other isn't it either.


Until a few weeks ago, I was truly counting the days until 2009 was over.  I don't remember a time when I've ever wanted to turn the calendar so badly to a new year.


I don't remember a time when the promise of a new year, a new start, actually meant something.


And I think 2009 will be the year I first felt like an adult.


Sure there have been moments of 'adultness' before.  Never so many, so close together as this year.  Some good.  Some not so good.


But in 10 years, how will I truly look back on 2009?  


Here's what I hope and pray I remember:


That I truly understood God's Grace for the first time in my life.
That I am married to an amazing man who is truly a gift from God.
That I am stronger than I realized.
That I am blessed in many more ways than I am not.
That real friends are truly those who you can be yourself with and your true self is enough.
That at the end of the day, the wag of a tail really can make life happier.
That loving your job is an intangible, invaluable blessing.
That I can choose whether my glass is 'half-full' or 'half-empty'.  I choose 'half-full'.
That I 'met' some of the most amazing people through the blogosphere; and strengthened my IRL relationship with others through it as well.
That God is good.  Always.


What do you want to remember from this year?

4 comments:

  1. I truly think we cannot appreciate the Light in our lives without the Darkness.

    I will remember this year fondly...ALWAYS as the first year of my precious son's life. Can't stop that one.

    But also I will remember this year as a time of transition and that is a harder thing to remember fondly.

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  2. Talking with Michelle about it, I first summed it up very succinctly: OJ was sick a lot, TO went to Disney World, and I got knocked up. :)

    And then I realized a few things that I REALIZED this year...in part it was prompted by what you said.

    I am NOT as strong as I thought I was, and for the first time truly allowed myself to ponder relying on other sources for inspiration and strength. I've come full circle with the fear of loss and the joy in retaining. For the first time in my adult life, I honestly struggled with fighting the feelings of disdain and hatred that I have never felt before, and in the same moments love and appreciation so great that I'd never experienced IT before.

    It was a year, certainly. With some behind it, and some ahead of it, but unique in and of itself.

    Have a wonderful ringing in of 2010, Rebecca. :)

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  3. Michelle - you are so right, the Light isn't possible without the Darkness. Transition is hard, no matter how it ends up, the transitioning is hard. What a beautiful blessing to have this year in Dominic. Prayers to you for a smoother, peaceful 2010.

    Tooj - I did the same thing, summed it up succinctly, mine was 'it sucked', but then I realized that no, actually, there was some great stuff sandwiched in there. I pray you'll find the inspiration and support that will let you be as strong as you are. That is something I learned this year, that not being able to handle it all on my own, doesn't make me weak, but rather, it takes much more strength to reach out and lean on others, be vulnerable, than it ever does to 'go it alone'. Unfortunately, we are not taught this and usually most of us have to figure it out the hard way! Many prayers for a happy, peaceful 2010!

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  4. Such a great post. 2009 was a draining year for me as well, but you've done an excellent job of showing how "easy" it is to find good things if you're really looking.

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