If You Take a Dog for a Walk

If you take a dog for a walk, she'll probably find a mud puddle to play in.
And if she finds a mud puddle to play in, you'll probably let her run it off in the field.

And if you let her run it off in the field, she'll find something stinky to roll in. Really stinky. Dead animal stinky.

And if she finds something really stinky to roll in, you'll probably decide it's time to head home.

When you get home, she'll remind you of the stink while you dry her paws off.
(The brown flecks are not highlights)

And then, she'll need a bath.
And after that bath, you'll realize that there is mud in the bath tub. Lots. of. mud. So, while the dog rests, you'll have to clean the shower.

And since you're going to clean the shower, you might as well just clean the whole bathroom.

And now that you've cleaned the whole bathroom, you realize that The Man is going to be home soon and dinner hasn't even been started.

So, you send a text requesting The Man picks up $5 Little Ceasars Pizza for dinner. Yum.

And if the man is bringing home Little Ceasar's for dinner, he'll probably pick up some Italian Cheesy Bread too. Double yum.And tomorrow, when the weather is warm again, the dog is probably going to want a walk.

And if you take a dog for walk....


  1. Oh yucky. I remember when my childhood dog would roll in stuff. man was that nasty. Your little story was funny. Sounds a lot like my life.

  2. Very clever post. :) Wonder what I can do to warrant texting the man.

    Oh, and yet another reason why I don't want a dog.

  3. This is superb!!! I love how you've written this in classic Numeroff fashion!! I'll read it to my tot for his bedtime story!! Your dog reminds me of my dearly departed Teka who used to absolutely adore muddy walks, the muddier the better! BTW, I love your blogs!